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February 15, 2004

Comments

maanu

hello i work for a private concern i love my job my boss is asking for sexual favours. its increasing day by day. he slowly started touching me. i am confused whether to leave the job or not?? can anyone suggest me.

geri

I've seen a couple of office romances prosper. Most of couples though never work in the same department, which is good. There are some instances where they can't really separate work-life and home-life. But in some ways, I've seen that their having some common fields (work, in particular) make them bond more, and make them understand each other more.

Alicia

The possiblity of office romance is inevitable. Love is something natural and you cannot stop a pair from falling in love with each other. But of course the policies of an office in terms of romance must be considered. Love is unconditional. But the freedom of love also involves a certain sense of responsibility and respect.

janie

I am currently in an office romance. It is hard keeping the relationship a secret. I must admit, the secrecy does make it all the more exciting. I really feel like I connected with my officemate. There was chemistry right from the start. It is absolutely exhilarating! Me and my officemate go home at the same time. No one actually suspects that something is going on between us. What they don't know is that there are times me and my officemate spend the night in each other's house.

John

I had an office romance that was pretty out of control and enjoyable in the early 90s, not a good time to be politically incorrect. A vivacious assistant was transferred to Vancouver and the organization asked me to put her up while she found a place. Err, OK.

Robert's point - that ' the "office" is a place where power is central to relationships' was made by several appalled people when they finally found us out. I was afer all, dating my assistant manager. Actually, I think that dating her undermined any stupid dominion I might have had as a manager. After we started shtupping she certainly didnt get less involvement in decision making! One weird development was that our staff became like our kids, in some basic hormonal level, we became one big happy family. When the cat got out of the bag, we agreed to "report" to different people, and in fact kept going ahead as before. The relationship lasted a while, into a year or two after she left the company.

For some people, power is central to relationships in the office, among buddies and at home. For others, power is not so central in any of those places. What should the organization do about dating? I dont know, maybe its best to be less organized about some things, less litigious, and simply more humane and open as an organization. As for big companies that are so large that he rule of law displaces almost everything, I think that sex involving middle managers might actually humanize things a bit. Maybe it should be legislated in such places.

Robert  Paterson

Before I launch into this - thank you for a great site. One of the great things about blogging is that you can start to learn about someone from the inside out.

Blogs allow us to enter a stranger's house and see what they are reading. they allow us to hear what they think. I am enjoying visiting your world Jennifer - thank you

Office romance? Isn't the "office" a place where power is central to relationships? if this is true then they must always be difficult.

Can work and romance work? I think so - as peers and as co-creators. Maybe the new leadership model is that combination of both where perhaps as ideal parents the animus and anima are combined in a man and woman at work?

Brian Carroll

I know just a handful of people make office romances work. I tried working with my spouse 10-years ago. I was her boss (bad idea). She's an excellent HR recruiter and we needed somebody with her skill set. Unfortunately, the business pressure caused friction between us at home. Simply put, we couldn't separate work-life and home-life.

We tried it again 4-years later. This time she reported to someone else and we worked at opposite ends of our building. Still, we felt working together sapped our romance. She left to start her own business and we're happily NOT working together.

In hindsight, we both agree that our relationship is much better off with boundries.

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