Today is Not That Day

Big setback: is gluten the cause?

I know I've been very quiet lately... I've had a mystery intestinal sickness for the past 5 weeks that has taken me totally out of the running for Honu. The first couple weeks were manageable, but I ended up DNS'ing (did not start) Wilflower a couple weeks ago and it's been downhill from there. Pulling out of Wildflower was a tough call... I drove down Friday, camped, cheered on the long-coursers, and just wasn't feeling so hot... stomach rumblings and a bit shaky & weak. Sunday morning I woke up, had breakfast, and made the call to pull the plug. Smartest thing I ever did. 

I tested negative for parasites so was referred to a gastroenterologist... my appointment is tomorrow (finally). In the meantime it's been a fun trial-and-error game of "what can I eat that doesn't make me roll around in pain." Last week I spent mostly working in bed with a sore gut, very low energy, weak muscles, and a very suppressed immune system: 3 cold sores in a row while on anti-virals, plus a urinary tract infection. Good grief. 

So it occurred to me on Friday to cut gluten out of my diet. It's something I hadn't considered because hey, I'm 43 and I've eaten gluten (like, a LOT of gluten) my entire life. But I'm spending so much time on Google researching all possible causes and my symptoms look a lot like celiac disease. And interestingly, today I'm feeling better... like noticeably better. I went for a gentle run/walk and felt a bit weak but totally ok. My energy levels felt back to normal. I even went to a rooftop party to watch the eclipse... 

(is this not the best place to watch an eclipse? or anything for that matter... wish my iphone camera took better pics)

... and unfortunately had to leave due to stomach cramps, which I'm now realizing was from the carbonation in ginger ale and possibly the Vega energy bar I tried... my poor gut is so trashed, raw foods or nuts just tear me up. Initially that freaked me out (oh my god what if it's not gluten? There's not much left to match my symptoms other than some really nasty stuff like IBS or IBD, or colon cancer) but my energy level is still high and I don't have that overall sense of malaise that I've had for the past few weeks. I think I just need to baby my poor gut for a couple weeks and let it heal. 

I'll need to do a blood test and possibly an endoscopy (where they stick a camera down your throat, past your stomach, and take a biopsy of your small intestine. How fun is that?) to confirm. Assuming I continue to feel better on this gluten-free diet, I'll be (a) going on a vacation to Hawaii with my boyfriend in early June and not racing (but I'll watch part of it) and (b) picking a fall 70.3 race and restarting training next month. I'll need to go slow... my muscles are so unbelievably weak. But I should be able to ramp up quickly enough. Cross fingers I can figure this out in the next week or so. Onward! 

If this is celiac or gluten intolerance, you can expect to see gluten-free recipes and info coming soon. 

In Hawaii, take 2 - Pre-race

Ok, I'm back home from a great race-cation! Finally have computer access and now must remember all the things I'd thought to write about over the course of the week. We'll focus this post on pre-race fun...

I arrived in Kona on Tuesday night and was picked up by my very kind condo-mate Robert, who drove me the 30 miles north to our condo in the Fairmont Orchid complex where grilled fish was waiting for dinner. We'd rented a place at the Fairways, which is just inside the security checkpoint on race weekend. If you do this race, I highly recommend staying at one of the several condo complexes on the Fairmont grounds. It made life so much easier.

I woke up to a blue and windless sky... perfect swim weather. I met my friend Kristen for a swim at 7 am at Hapuna Beach and the water was perfect. Maybe 80 degrees, totally calm and crystal clear. Visibility here is 200 feet, and it's fantastic to swim over coral reefs and watch the fish.

Then made the drive back down to Kona to pick up my rental bike (Cervelo P1). I'd forgotten to bring my saddle down with me, so we didn't do a fitting... so I ended up jacking with my bike fit most of the afternoon until I took it back the next morning to get it dialed in. In the end I liked renting a bike -- it saved a lot of hassle and was less expensive than airplane or TriBike Transport fees. If you go this route, just reserve early to get a good bike and components, and be sure to take measurements in all the right places!

After picking up my bike, I headed back to the airport to pick up my coach Michelle! It was so great to meet in person after 5 months of email and phone calls. We both remarked, "you look just like your pictures!" and were on our way back up to the condo. It's great how you can tell so much about someone from the way they write their blog... Michelle's just as cool as she comes across on her blog, and it was great fun to get to know her outside of the coach/athlete box. She stayed in our condo Wed night as Scott and Moana weren't coming in until the next day, so we had a lazy afternoon -- ran some errands, jacked with bike fit -- then fixed grilled chicken & papaya salad for dinner and hit the sack.

Woke up to the sound of high wind whipping through the trees... ahhh, hello wind. I was hoping to avoid meeting you this week! Michelle and I headed to Hapuna Beach at 7 am, where I got some great swim coaching and some much-needed practice with swimming in heavy chop. The water was relatively calm close to the beach, but of course Michelle said, "no, we're headed out farther to hit some rougher water." Of course. This was a confidence-building swim... definitely the most chop I've done, and really had my fingers crossed that it would be calmer on race morning!

So I thought I was in decent shape until I saw this pic of me standing next to Miss Fitness herself :-) Give me a few more years at this...

In the afternoon I took my newly fitted bike out for a spin. Into the wind. I was going downhill at 10 MPH... grrr! But check out the desolate beauty of the Queen K highway... totally cool to ride the Kona course:

The afternoon brought leftover chicken/papaya/kale salad (delish!) I ate so much healthier in Hawaii... the heat made me crave fruits and veggies, while the cold of SF always makes me want heavy carbs. 

...followed by race registration and an hour or so at the Fairmont pool, where I worked on getting my pasty-white San Francisco skin ready for the bake-fest on race day.

After getting cleaned up, it was back to the Fairmont patio for a pasta dinner with my friend Kristen and her mom. Her mom's a total rock star... a runner who did Escape from Alcatraz last year with Kristen! Now if I could just get my mom to stop freaking out that I'm doing triathlon :-) (she's getting better...)

Friday: pre-race day brought calm weather and a 20-minute run (where my toe cramped up again), bike/helmet check-in at T1 at Hapuna Beach, organizing my transition bags, dropping off bike/run transition bag at the Fairmont, and buying a technical race tee after hearing that the finisher's tee was cotton. Then the athlete pre-race meeting, where 1500 athletes gathered to hear the race announcer talk about how brutal the course would be. (Gulp.) The last event of the evening was an early, overpriced buffet dinner at the Fairmont where I ate too much, as I always do at buffets, and an early bedtime.

A few pre-race flutters were calmed by reading a few old blog posts to remind myself of why I was doing this -- I'm redefining 40 and redefining myself! How cool is this?... I never in a million years imagined I'd be doing anything like this. Reminding myself of the "why" -- and of the fact that I had a ton of business travel and other responsibilities that impacted my training -- got me into a good headspace to just go out tomorrow, enjoy the day and experience my first 70.3 without the pressure to hit certain time goals.

Right as I dozed off I heard the wind picking back up, rustling the palm leaves...

guilty secret, loneliness and other musings

I really got into a funk after my group ride yesterday, and I've been thinking about why that is.Yes, I was disappointed that I wasn't strong on the hills, but I know that's temporary. For some reason my current fitness level got under my skin in a very deep way. Writing is a good way for me to process stuff, so here goes...

When the guy I was dating last year suggested I do a triathlon with him, I thought it would just be something fun to try. I had no idea I'd want to stick with it, let alone sign up for a half Ironman and hire a coach. I had no idea that triathlon would become something hugely meaningful in my life.

Why is it meaningful? I'm still noodling on that. It has somehow become the only thing in my lifetime that I feel compelled to conquer at all costs. I don't know why it's triathlon and not something else. I've never been athletic. I definitely grew up a tomboy and in many ways I'm more like a guy (especially in how I do business and how I think) but training for something is totally new to me. I confess, I've coasted a lot in my life. You can't coast in this. Which I love. Because through this process, I am finally discovering what I'm made of. I am transforming who I am at a very deep level, and this is my conduit.

Since I'm still getting accustomed to training and the schedule, sure, I grumble a bit. At times I've been tempted to cut a corner. But I know that I'd just be cheating myself... so I "suck it up buttercup", push through it, and somehow become more complete when I'm done. It's very gratifying, this training process. I'm training my mind and my will, as well as my body.

So because it's become hugely meaningful, it's become my guilty secret. Because I'm just starting out, I'm surrounded with people at my pace and level... and while they're totally delightful people, triathlon is just something they dabble in. It's fun, and good exercise and a good way to meet friends and potential dates. While I'm reading training articles and watching videos on swim technique, they have other priorities. A friend of mine said she wanted to improve her swimming, so I offered to videotape her stroke. She declined. I don't really understand this. But they're not me, and that's fine.

What is difficult is that everyone in my immediate circle thinks I'm nuts. My family doesn't really get it. My friends don't get it. And even my friends in the shallow end of triathlon don't want to talk about it for more than 15 minutes if we're out socially. So I feel like an outsider. And the people who are in the deep end of triathlon, I can't hang with yet. It's like I'm the little kid who wants to sit at the grown-ups' table... I have to earn my way there. And in the meantime I'm caught in this no-man's land, not really fitting in anywhere.

Lately I've been quite the hermit. I already have too much of a solitary lifestyle... I work alone and I live alone. I used to get my social need met through the vast abundance of social events in San Francisco that all seem to revolve around wine. But that's not appealing anymore. I want to connect through sport and triathlon, but I don't yet feel like I fit in. There are some friends I'll probably start riding with a couple times a month who are at my pace so that I can get my basic social need met, but it's not the same as surrounding myself with people for whom this sport is as meaningful as it is to me. Right now I'm feeling really lonely.

The good news is, I know that this won't last. Yes, I can be impatient... and it's not really because I want to finish at x time in my next race. It's because I want to be able to sit at the grownups' table. I want to train with like-minded people... to connect and feel included. Is it any wonder I'd rather stay home and read your blogs on a Friday night rather than hang out with people who don't get me? You get it. I wish I could train with you, but I'm not ready yet.

Maybe you've been where I'm at... maybe you haven't. Regardless, thanks for reading and joining me on my journey. I'm looking forward to week 4. The process of writing this down has gotten me recharged. My legs are still sore from the past couple days and I'm glad that tomorrow's a swim day. But I'm looking forward to my bike fit tomorrow (when I'll replace my borrowed aero bars with new ones of my own) and getting back on the trainer on Tuesday. Let's get to work, my friends! Let's find out what we're made of.

2010 in review: It's ok to laugh

I love this time of year... closing out a chapter of my life and looking ahead to the next, saying "bring it on!". 2010 was sort of a tough year for me professionally. I started a new business in 2009 and was a bit over-optimistic about the market's ability to bounce back. 2010 saw numerous potential clients cancel because of layoffs, restructuring, and tightened budget. Seems like it's just starting to come back a bit, but it's going to be a slow haul. I can say I'm learning a lot from triathlon that I can apply in my work, such as keeping the bigger picture in mind, working through the setbacks, and getting back what I put into it. I'm anticipating a good year in 2011 both professionally and in triathlon.

My 2010 in triathlon was challenging, motivating, fun... it brought out competitive parts of me that I didn't know existed. I had never run before; actually I'd tried hard to avoid the necessity of running. I'd never swam before; sure, I could splash around, but I certainly couldn't swim the length of a pool without stopping to gasp for air. And I hadn't been on my bike for any length of time for over 2 years. So back in February when the guy I was dating asked if I wanted to train with him for a triathlon, I thought... sure. I want to see if I can do this.

Here's my progress in pictures; the swim pic comparison says it all. It's ok to laugh with me, just not at me. :-)

My first tri I wasn't trained for AT ALL. I'd been training for a sprint, and my friends talked me into doing Wildflower Olympic. Mind you, this is a hard, hot and very hilly course. I hadn't done any hill training. I could barely run 6 miles. I'd NEVER done an open water swim. The water was choppy and cold. I didn't know how to sight. I couldn't put my face in the water without my lungs closing up from the reaction to the cold, so I ended up backstroking almost the entire time. I inhaled a LOT of water. When I finally got out of the water almost an hour after I started, the photographer had a little grin on his face. Snap. I asked what was funny... and he said I had a stick on my head. Thanks for not telling me sooner.

Exhibit A: I look like I just got run over by a truck. That's exactly how I felt. Note the stick. Hilarious! I laugh every time I see this picture.

Actual time for my first tri: 4:51. Right, that's the time for the Olympic distance, not the long course. Believe it or not, I didn't come in in last in my age group (phew!) but it was pretty close. My transitions alone were 12 minutes combined. I pretty much walked the run course. I'm looking forward to a redux in 2011 and shooting for 3:30 as my realistic goal (hills have been my nemesis), 3:15 for my wish-list goal.

Exhibit B: My last triathlon of the season was at Pacific Grove in September. Colder water (59 degrees) and crawling over kelp trees, yet I came out of the water with a big smile on my face:

Wow, what a difference. Overall time was 3:05 and I came in 10th of 46 in my age group. Transitions were cut to @ 5:30 (combined). I had a blast. This was a flat course but I still tired out by mile 4 of the run. I might do this race again in 2011 just to measure progress. Swim time was 38 minutes: everyone's swim times were slower because the tide was low and we literally had to crawl over kelp trees, but I should be able to really cut down my swim times in 2011 with a coach who can do stuff like this.

So... looking ahead to 2011: Cutting 1:20:00+ off my Wildflower time. Doing my first half Ironman in Hawaii (which I'd love to do under 6 hours, but given my hamstring situation I'm not going to even think about time goals for this.) Getting my body healthy, balanced and injury-free so I can REALLY achieve some great things in 2012. Building my business and getting some great clients. I can't wait. Bring it on.

Vibram 5 Fingers

I lucked into a free personal training session this morning; my gym wanted to boost awareness of the "training experience" in the hopes of signing up new clients, so they held a contest to see which trainer could sign up the most free sessions. I got a good one: my Hard Core instructor. She was awesome; totally knowledgeable about the body and also injuries like mine.

I came away with a great circuit to strengthen glutes, glute med, hamstring and core. She showed me an exercise on the springboard that's perfect for simultaneously stretching and strengthening hamstrings, but unfortunately that's where my body said "no thanks." Left leg absolutely rebelled on this one; lots of pain in my hamstring attachments.

We started talking injuries and I mentioned that I likely have a foot issue that's been throwing off my gait... haven't been able to bend my left big toe in 15 years. She highly recommended training in the Vibram 5 Fingers to start strengthening my feet... I'd already been thinking about them so I headed across the street that (conveniently) had the only Vibrams in town. Apparently every store in SF was sold out except for the one around the corner from my home.

So... voila, my Christmas present to myself.

Other than feeling like I'm in a gorrilla costume when I look down at my feet, I love them. I got the KSO Trek which is a bit better for outdoors use and cooler climes than some of the thinner soled models. I was sold when the gal who ran the store shared her personal experience with Vibrams: she'd been having a lot of back and hip pain and doctors couldn't figure out the cause, so she decided to start treating herself naturally and holistically starting from the ground up. She said the Vibrams made a huge difference and her physiological problems ended up going away.

I will eventually try running in them, but right now I'm just focusing on activating my big toe when I walk. I walked to the grocery store tonight and my feet were tired when I got home... I can tell I'm working muscles that haven't been activated in a long time, even though I do go barefoot at home. The other benefit I'm hoping to see from them is stronger arches... I have very high arches and they're starting to cave in, especially on my left foot. I'll keep you posted on my experience with my monkey shoes Vibrams, especially when I start running. So far they're very comfortable and I feel so much better going "natural."

If you have experience with Vibrams, I'd be interested to hear about it.

 

Gearing up for 2011

I'm writing this at 35,000 feet thanks to free Wi-Fi on Virgin America. Totally cool to surf blogs and Facebook online, although not so cool is the drunk woman next to me who's starting to talk to herself and shout obscenities while checking out her cell phone. Lordy, she just ordered another beer.

I'm headed home after 5 days with my mom and grandma in The Villages, the country's largest retirement community. It's usually a pretty good time, although a cold front came through and cancelled all outdoor activities. Bummer... I was looking forward to posting a demonstration of retiree line dancing in the square. But I did have a nice time with family; my grandma is 91 and still as spunky and sharp as ever. I won a lot of Scrabble. And mom and I got up to 113 consecutive hits in ping pong. Whoo hoo.

Workout-wise, there was a gorgeous outdoor pool for me to use, which thankfully was heated. It was so nice to swim under a blue sky and palm trees, even if it was only 50 degrees. Wish I had taken a pic; it was lovely. Not much happened outside of the pool, though. My piraformis hasn't gotten any better... it's gotten slightly worse (maybe from the eliptical), so I didn't rent a bike while I was there. But I'm tired of writing about it and thinking about injury. Argh!  Acupuncture is on for Jan 3 and I'm hopeful. This needs to work because...

Training starts on Saturday and I need to be 100%! I just got a note from my new coach that my first workouts have been locked & loaded to Training Peaks. After fumbling through my first year in triathlon in 2010 on my own, I can't wait to work with Michelle and see what I'm capable of at Wildflower, Honu and beyond. Fun stuff!  I'm also looking forward to reading your blogs and cheering on your accomplishments. This is such a great community and I'm happy to be part of it.

And now it's time to sign off... this is a BUMPY ride! i should get the barf bag handy for my drunk seatmate.

 

My new tri blog

I've been debating whether to transform my old business blog into more of a generic work/play/tri blog, but I think triathlon merits its own space. Last year was my first year to swim and run, and I got my feet wet in three triathlons. Now I'm signed up for Hawaii 70.3 next year and need an online home for my workouts, race reports, and all the online socializing with fellow blogger buddies. And so the journey begins...